Having Fun Yet ?

This is what happens when Jimmy gets a hold of a digitalcamera:



Our dinner !



His brothers birthday !

JOKES:

*************** The female perspective ************

What do you call a man with half a brain?

Gifted.
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What's the difference between government bonds and men?

Bonds Mature.
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What is the difference between a man and a catfish?

One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
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What did God say after creating man?

I can do better.
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What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?

1. No mind.

2. No business.
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Why do jocks play on artificial turf?

To keep them from grazing.
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Why is it so hard for women to find men that are
sensitive,caring, and good-looking?

Because they already have boyfriends.
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Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the
Olympics? He had it bronzed.
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How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?

Two ways to cross a river.
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What is gross stupidity?

144 men in one room.
**************************

Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got
nothing to put in it.

Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?
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How many men does it take to pop popcorn?

Three. One to hold the pan and two others to show off
and shake the stove.

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How do men sort their laundry?

"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
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Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.
**************************

Two guys were strolling down the street when one guy
exclaimed, "how sad - a dead bird."

The other man looked up and said, "where?"
**************************

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

Yes = No  No = Yes Maybe = No

I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry. We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

Was that the baby?=Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he
goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

MEN'S ENGLISH: 

"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry."I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy."I'm tired." = I'm tired.

"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal of this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are
you going thru now?

"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

"I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex? "I love you." = Let's have sex now.

"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much
different!

"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a
deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with
other guys.

(while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and
let's go home!

Backgrounds from SilverHawk.